Love and burritos

So this one basically played out like a movie, so I wasn’t actually in it, just watching the whole thing play out.  It starts out in the living room of this couple in their 40’s, and it seems like it’s not necessarily a loveless marriage but the couple is definitely just going through the motions.  The wife is sitting on this couch with a flowered pattern, and the husband, who is apparently the main character, is standing there talking to her.  He’s got a little bit of a paunch and he’s pretty much bald with some graying hair on the sides.  I know he’s some actor I’ve seen before but I can’t place him.  So they’re talking and the wife’s not really looking at him, just watching TV or something, and he says he’s going out, and he leaves and there’s just this overall sense of sad resignation about the whole relationship.

it was kinda like this except with less motorcycles and more burritos

So then the guy drives to this restaurant that sells burritos, and it kind of looks like an old West saloon on the outside complete with those fence posts to tie your horses up on, and he gets a parking space right at the front.  And as he’s getting out of his car, this guy approaches him with his two kids, a boy and a girl who look to be maybe 8 or 9, and he’s holding this brown paper bag, and he seems kind of skeezy and our “hero” realizes that the father is trying to pull a scam on him.  And so he takes the two kids by their hands and he tells them he’s going to buy them burritos and that the father can’t stop him and that he’s on to his scam.  The father slinks off, and we see that the mother, who also looks like this skeezy meth-head and was waiting on the other side of our hero’s car, she slinks off with him and they basically abandon their kids with this guy.

just not a pleasant person

So the three of them go in to the restaurant and the guy buys all of them burritos, and when they walk out again, the guy realizes that someone has parked behind him, so close that the bumpers are touching, so he’s completely blocked in.  So the guy goes back into the restaurant to find out whose car it is, and it ends up that it’s one of the waitresses’ cars and the waitress happens to be Beki Ingram from “Face Off” except she’s a platinum blonde, but she’s still a huge bitch like she was on the show and the guy tells her to move her car and she does, reluctantly, and the whole time she’s saying these awful things about how she doesn’t care about anyone and that nothing matters and stuff.

So then we see the guy and the two kids on a hillside in some park and they’re eating their burritos and it looks like the guy and the kids are now homeless and he’s taking care of them.  And then it’s the next day, and they need more food, but they don’t have money, so the guy turns into Jim Varney dressed as a cowboy all in black with a big black handlebar mustache and he fires a gun into the air and causes a big ruckus and he gets some free burritos.

if I could change into anyone I wanted, my choice would also be Jim Varney

she had on less clothes in the dream

the guy knows his plumbing

The dream continues on, and the guy and the kids have been together for several years now, and the kids are probably 15 or 16, and we’re in this big museum, and the guy has turned into Joelle Carter and she’s topless and wearing nothing else but some short shorts, and she convinces the security guard, who’s Thomas Hill, but looking like the bookstore owner in “The Neverending Story”, that she’s with the cleaning crew and is supposed to be there.  And then she takes the security guard down to the main lobby where he meets the kids and they give him this sob story about how their sink broke and they can’t afford to fix it and they actually have this big porcelain sink with them.  And Thomas is so moved that he fixes the sink by switching it out with one of the drinking fountains in the lobby.

So Joelle, who is now the guy again, and the two kids, they give the security guard a hug for helping them with the sink, but as they’re hugging him, Thomas realizes that they were scamming him, and so he chases after them out of the museum and down the street, but eventually he trips and falls and the guy and the two kids get away.

elderly Robin Williams or handsome hit man for the mob? Decisions, decisions. . .

So now the movie flashes forward, and the guy has become a really old Robin Williams, and he’s been dating the mean waitress from earlier except now she’s Scarlett Johansson, and Scarlett has also been dating this mob-type guy, and Scarlett and the two kids are talking about that as they’re exiting this big ship, but they’re waiting for the drawbridge to come down, and Scarlett’s dressed up like she’s from the 1940’s.

his best work since "Big Top Pee-Wee"

It’s at this point that I find that I’ve been sitting in a theater watching this whole thing as a movie, and it’s directed by Tim Burton, and it’s this immersive, interactive thing where suddenly all these giant clockwork gingerbread men made of brass come down the aisles and everyone is getting up and running from them, and I’m initially scared but realize that it’s still part of the movie.  There’s also a part of the movie where we get to go swinging around on these giant strands of black licorice, but after the first group goes the licorice snaps off so no one else gets to play.

so long and thanks for all the burritos

And then the movie’s over and everyone is exiting, and out in the lobby is Scarlett and the two kids, except the lobby is outdoors and it’s snowing and it looks like this little English village from the early 1900’s and they’re standing in front of this little shop by this card table and I guess they’re signing autographs or something, and on the table is this framed photograph of old Robin Williams, and you realize that he’s died, and that the movie was a true story based on his and the kids’ lives.  And I’m standing there talking to them and you can see that they’re really sad and at one point Scarlett puts her head on my shoulder and she just seems so sad.

And that’s when I woke up, and I was still feeling really sad about Scarlett even though I really don’t like her in real life.